Friday, March 15, 2013

*WARNING* Depressing wedding post imminent...

There is now only 4 weeks to go until The Big Day.

All the super important stuff is ready to go, booked, ordered etc and here's where I'm at with the rest of it:

  • Planter Boxes for wheatgrass rec'd - Check
  • Wheat for planting in planters previously purchased but not yet planted has now been purchased - Check
  • Lollies  for lolly table ordered - Check
  • Find awesomely gorgeous picture frame for awesomely gorgeous pictures - Check
  • Wishing Well... hmm it's really a Wishing Tower of Tastefully Decorated Boxes, but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it, so Wishing Well it is... - Check

Invitation Suite designed by an amazingly talented woman (me),
hand made by an astoundingly creative woman (also me),
and sent off by a woman who hates the post office with a passion (definitely me).
It's all going rather smoothly don't you think?  I do.  A little too  smoothly...  Something has to go wrong...

... and go wrong it has.

I tried to order something that I thought was going to be the simplest part of the whole shabang.  A vest each for BM & his brother, who will be his Best Man.  That's all, a vest.  Not a suit, not a top hat and tails, just a simple, lousy, bloody vest.  I can't hire or buy them for two reasons.  First, they are both large men in both height and girth, so they don't fit standard sizes, and second, nobody, and I mean nobody  stocks the colour I'm after.  What colour? Chocolate brown.  Not orange, or pink, or purple, or blue with chartreuse stripes, just ordinary, plain old, brown...

Simple brown vest...
When I started this process, I had something like 8 or 9 weeks to go, and I was assured that the tailoring process only takes about 2 weeks.  It probably does - I haven't had the pleasure of finding out yet.

  • Order 2 vests for Groom & Best man - Check, oh no wait!  That fabric is sold out - UN-check. Choose another fabric - Check (again), oops no that one is unavailable (as is the next one you'll pick), it's no longer in production... UN-CHECK another two times.

Why then  do you still have the samples in your shop you great knob!?

  • Send tailor to hell - Check
  • Rejoice - Check
  • Find new tailor - Check
  • Order 2 vests #take2 - Check - sorry, can't, no fabric. Un-check.  WTF?

What is with these bloody tailors and not having fabric available?
Tell me again why you call yourself a tailor if you have no fricking fabric??
How hard is it to update your *&^(*^%$^& swatches???

Chocolate Brown Irish Linen
  • Order and pay for fabric  for 2 vests - from England - Check.
  • Wait a week, and follow up on order of fabric from England - Check - oops, we can't find an order in that name... what are you talking about?  Un-check again...  FML...
  • As a favour, pay a several hundred dollar accommodation bill for future MIL who lives in an even more rural community than I do and who doesn't understand  the internet let alone have a connection - Check
  • Receive promised repayment for above - No no no, of course not, don't be silly, she forgot, she thought someone else paid it, future SIL has access to the bank account, she is going to do it says MIL, but SIL "can't" do it - no access to internet... on her smartphone... from the middle of a major city... with countless internet cafe's and free hotspot's...  How.Hard.Is.It?!?
That's okay, don't worry about it, we don't need actual  food on The Big Day, we'll just eat the lollies for dinner, and wash it down with tap water...

None of this was going down very well, particularly as I'm an emotional eater who had run out of Happy Pills when all this was happening

If there had been a Cadbury Joyville Van in the vicinity I would have hijacked it, and popped all the balloons - just sayin'... 

I was busily relating all of this to BFF via text I don't know how she translated it though, I'm sure it was in pure Gobbledy-Gook, but next thing I know, I'm getting a message that contained the magic word...


Hooray!  My sanity is saved!  And on what could have been an EPIC emotional eating nightmare day, my food choices look like this:

  • Breakfast - Shake 200cal
  • Lunch - Ham, cheese & tomato wrap ???cal
  • Dinner - Seared Chicken Classic Salad (Macca's) & a Tall Cappuccino approx 360cal
  • Snack - 1 Tall Cappuccino & 2 Macaron's. 380cal
I'm not unhappy with that. Plus I worked out to Mish's fit ball DVD.


  1. In amongist your woes there, I have to tell you your wedding stationery is awesome. A girl after my own heart! I looooooove things like this. I do hope that your talents are leading a business doing stationery, because it's sensational.


  2. I love the stationery too, no I'm not in business but BFF is always encouraging me to be. Maybe one day she will succeed. I do take the odd job though, so if you're ever in need of stationery of any sort - let me know, maybe I can help. I'm sure you know by now that things just got worse after this. One lady said that glitches in the planning mean a long and happy married life, she said we'll be married for ever!