There are signs that we look for when we're losing weight, like needing to buy new clothes. A perennial favourite of mine, it absolutely never ever gets old.
Stepping on the scales and not having them scream in pain, or repeatedly flash error messages at you when you step on them would be the main one, but what else is there?
What other little signs are there that tell us we're not quite the Heffalump we once were?
You know you're losing weight when...
You realise everyone can see your daggy old bra through the sleeves of everything you own.
Your feet lose weight, causing your shoes to fall off. Constantly.
You can tie your shoelaces in an actual bow instead of a knot, because now you have enough laces to tie a bow.
Your old undies fall down. Repeatedly.
You buy new undies, and they come up to your armpits, requiring you to fold the top down so you can wear them.
You have to buy more new undies as the first lot were too big.
You now need a size that means you can get cute girlie undies with patterns and colours and bows, instead of rotten boring ol' Bombay Bloomers aka Nana Knickers.
You can no longer reach the pedals in the car, and the steering wheel is a bit of a reach.
Your jewellery begins to fall off.
You tend not to drop as much food on your boobs.
You begin dropping food on what's left of your belly, that used to fall on your boobs.
You can walk between the car and the pillar in the shopping centre carpark - and neither your bum nor your belly touch them.
You can bend over and cut your own toenails, instead of stretching your leg out and desperately trying to reach your toes with the clippers.
You can sit at a booth in a cafe without being sliced in half.
You can sit in the chairs at an outdoor cafe without cutting off the circulation to your legs.
You can actually reach across and use the eftpos at a drive-thru.
You can bend over in the shower and your bum doesn't leave voids on the steamed up glass.
You no longer accidentally turn on the push-button-electronic-I-will-beep-incessantly-and-drive-you-crazy-until-you-turn-me-off oven timer with your belly every single time you cook a meal.
You don't choke in your sleep because your boobs have stopped wrapping themselves around your throat as you sleep.
Your little dog can sit on your lap, because now your belly doesn't take up all the room.
You only need one tape measure to go around your belly and hips instead of two.
You realise the ends of the tape measure overlap.
You can see the steps as you go up and down them. But you still trip on them, because you're a klutz.
You sit down and both knees point to the North Pole, instead of one pointing the way to the Mysterious East and the other to the Wild West, because your belly isn't forcing them apart.
... and finally...
You know you've lost weight when
this doesn't happen any more...